Mars, Moon and the Life

Every youngster has dreams about their married life. For quite a few, married life is a bliss, but for many it becomes a curse. It can be a curse for many even before the marriage. Many have to dream for a married life till end of their life, like a mirage. There are many factors that contribute to such circumstances. What bothers and concerns me is the inability of many girls to get married because of no fault of theirs and also, many suffer after marriage for no fault of theirs. What I am coming to is the practice of astro-match process during marriage proposal stage, and the poor girls being made victims because of the positions of planets in their horoscope are not 'proper' or they are born on a day, when moon was at some specific longitude.

I have been seeing many such cases in different communities in India, where many girls are being mercilessly made victims of the belief on astrology, which many claim as a science, many claim as meta-science, and also many claim as absurd. My objective is not to have a debate on whether its science or not, but feel sorry for the victims of the belief. In astro matches, position of planets in the horoscopes is one criteria considered. In general, if the position of mars is in 7th house (i am not venturing into explaining the technicalities) for a girl, it can be taken for granted that getting a marriage proposal is near to impossible for that unfortunate girl. Similarly, if on the day of birth of a girl, the planetary longitude of moon is between '240 deg 0' to '253 deg 20' (called moola nakshatra), then she has to marry only someone who has no father. There are many more such constraints being practiced.

I have spent enough time and learnt astrology, and studied the process of matching horoscopes etc. Also, I have been doing some research myself in the daily / weekly / monthly astro predictions that come in different newspapers, magazines etc., comparing different predictions and statistically analyzing them to get better understanding about all this practice. Also I have been researching on the 'happiness factor' in many families (of course based on what is known to the outside world!!). In my observations, I have seen cases of failures in spite of great astro-matches, and successes where people didn't bother to match their horoscopes. I do agree that there are cases of vice-versa too. So it is more of statistical in nature, and generally follow a normal distribution in either case.

I believe, people tend to more and more believing in these practices, when they feel some kind of insecurity, fear or greed. Such insecurity and fear is imposed upon by the society for whatever reasons. Unfortunately such practices are linked to belief in god / divine. I see these two as entirely different and unrelated, but those who preach astro-practices link it with belief in god, to force people and the society as a whole to fall in line. The unfortunate victims are poor girls, whose dreams get shattered as days pass by, both in unmarried state and married state. What pains me the most, is the attitude of many such parents, who are least bothered about the well-being of their daughters, instead go after such beliefs. In conservative middle class society in many communities in India, poor girls have no other way but to sacrifice their precious life, for the false pride of their parents and the society.

In India, marriage is seen not just as one between the individuals, but it is also considered as a relationship between the two families. Such a practice makes the marital relationship between the individuals more wider with a sense of better security, implying support from both families in days of happiness and difficulties. Every individual in the world is different, with different cultural, educational, and social backgrounds. And each have different dreams, aspirations, and tastes. The tastes can be different at physical level, intellectual level and spiritual level. It is not possible to have full match of all these characteristics between individuals. If the major likings and tastes are matched, then the rest are left to adjustments. The success of the married life depends on how much the individuals can adjust. Else, the married life may seem great and successful to the outside world, but there would be burning issues between the individuals and families, resulting into loss of peace of mind for everyone affected. As marriages are considered with relationships between the families too, the complexity increases, with likings and tastes of the family as a whole becomes important factor to consider. I believe, considering the family likings and tastes would definitely help to a great extent in realizing a fairly successful married life, with the support of all near and dear ones.

The values being practiced in many communities try to prepare girls for adjustments right from childhood. So when they are forced to marry based on criteria other than matches of personal likings, tastes and preferences, the "need for adjustments" goes too far, with the individuals (especially the girls) quietly suppress their dreams and aspirations and presents themselves with a 'smile' attached face, which the society terms as successful marriage. Most of the times, the parents would be knowing the facts of the smile-attachment, but try to console themselves thinking that they have done it for satisfying the planets, whom they believe control our lives. The pains through which the girl / woman goes through is known only to her and may be her very close confidants. I believe, many social issues in our society can be primarily attributed to such burning of dreams and aspirations of individuals (forced upon them based on such irrational beliefs), which slowly grows and manifests into different forms, and grows out of hand resulting in fights between individuals and families.

These days I see, more and more people tend to go after satisfying the planets than satisfying the individuals and families involved in the marriage. I think, the prime reason could be sense of insecurity, fear and greed that grows day by day in the society. Only thing I can do is to pray for those who suffer, and let the power of prayer bring some solace to the suffering souls.

Ways to get jobs and promotions...

A news item that I read today on MidDay, a popular local newspaper of Mumbai, prompted to me to post this. The news reads.. "BMC (Bombay Muncipal Corporation) official divorces wife to ensure he gets promotion under the 'non -creamy' layer; dismissed after truth comes to light... ". We see here how people are manipulating to derive benefits, that they don't really deserve as per the regulations of governance...

What comes to my mind at this point time is an incident that i came across almost 27 years back. I was working in Bokaro steel plant, in Bihar state of India; and I was on shifts... every week my shift changes.. shift timings are morning 6 to 2; 2 to 10, and 10 to 6... Few employees in the shift who are in their early fifties would never go home after completing their work at 10 in the night, or come for work directly from home for early morning shift... whereas, many others commute may be 3 to 4 kilometers by bicycle... I was curious to know why they are afraid of commuting in the night, along with many other colleagues of theirs... They were reluctant to tell me, and I don't also understand the psyche of the people living in that part of the country.

After quite a bit of persuasion, they told me the reason. They are afraid of none other than their sons. I couldn't believe. Yes, thats the fact. In order to get job in the same company, as dependent of deceased, they are afraid that their sons would kill them. Then people started telling me stories of such happening in that part of the country. It was frightening for me to hear all that. But it seems such things are common there.

Another interesting characteristics in some people there i noticed was a father and his different sons in a family will have different surnames. I was curious to know why this, and they had casual answers for this. When the child is to be put in school, they check what surname goes well in the job market (I don't now, how can they predict the market about 18 - 20 years ahead). They believe that, a surname 'prasad' might have high probability of getting selected compared to surname 'singh' for 'sarkari' job, then that surname is put for the child. They believe that, in interviews, the surname is what matters in getting a 'secure' job. It seems it is very common in that part of the country.

All these came to my mind, when i read the news item today about an officer theoretically (and not practically) divorcing his wife to get a promotion on job. The news item ends with "An investigation revealed 26 such cases in the city of Mumbai's Municipal Corporation offices.

What's the motivation behind all these kind of actions? Must be eagerness to get a 'secure' job at any cost, and the cost can range from divorcing wife to killing father. Only few such incidents would come out in light, whereas many such would be happening in the society. Thought of sharing this thought to all those read my blog...